the Super Sistah Blog

Be Super. Watch Yourself Soar

Black Girl Screaming January 7, 2011

I’m reading a book called the Purple Cow. It’s a marketing book for developing businesses, brands and standout products. The premise behind the book is that if you want to be remembered you have to do remarkable things, be extraordinary and do what it takes to separate yourself from the herd and the crowd. To attract attention you have to stand out. Being ordinary, mediocre and a basic brown cow won’t do.  Halfway through the book and I’m already contemplating suicide. It asks me to do all the things I hate: namely speaking to strangers, abandoning fear and letting go of my insecurities and inhibitions.  I think the author might be on the pipe or some mood altering substance.  Already my hands shake, my mouth gets dry and I feel real shivers down my spine when I have to approach the unknown woman and tell her about my blog. Now I have to come out of my shell even more? I feel the beginnings of a heart attack? I feel light-headed with the mere idea of being the mouth piece behind my brand. Couldn’t I just pay the dude that sings on the train a sandwich and some Skittles to spread the word for me?  My greatest desire is to write quietly and be anonymous.  That’s why my Super Sistah mask suits me. I can see you but you can’t see me. The problem with my plan is that if I’m quiet, shy and laid back both my name and I will become extinct. A year, an hour or a minute from now no one will remember me. I will live a life of quiet disappointment and soundless misery. It’s not gonna work. If I want to blow the roof off the house that traps my dreams I have to be brash. So let’s get loud everyone. Split eardrums like the best Bose sound system. Rattle the walls like a Rock concert at full blast. Shout so that God can hear your dreams from the clouds.

In your life are you dying quietly or are you screaming?

Are you screaming?


the Super Sistah Video Blog December 17, 2010

Not all women are super heroes but all are meant to be. Be Super. Watch yourself Soar!

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Eat a Tiger with Little Chews December 13, 2010

How do you eat a Tiger? With little chews. If you have ever been overwhelmed by trying to pursue your dreams then you know how daunting trying to succeed can be. Recently I had a chat with my sister.  She’s trying to be Super but is struggling.  I instantly gave her some encouragement. What kind of success coach would I be if I didn’t help my family? Usually when any of us start something new we are overwhelmed by the vastness of our ambitions and the energy required to scale mountains, slay dragons and banish thoughts of doubt and insecurity. We want to succeed but we think failure is a real option.  Soon our doubts become our reality and we give in and give up. No can do.  It’s important to understand that every day is an opportunity to succeed.  No one wakes up and is miraculously sitting in the penthouse with a Bentley parked outside sipping cocktails with P.Diddy.  How you grasp your dreams is by one action, step and move at a time.  Every stamp licked, every bill paid, every resume sent and every class taken is a step in the right direction. Those who try to do everything at once usually find themselves frustrated and defeated.

Think of success as a dripping faucet.  Every drop of water is merging with previous drops.  The water line is rising until it reaches uncontrollable levels and overflows.  Once the water escapes the confines of the sink it has broken through and can no longer be contained. Every day is an opportunity to burst the pipe and get the things you want and need. The sun should never set on your day without having tackled some problem, made some progress or done something (anything) that is taking you steadily in the direction you want to go.  A tiger is a big animal with many parts but even the most insignificant of us can have him for a meal if we eat him diligently.

“BURPPPPPPPP………!” Excuse me everyone, how rude. Forgive me, I launched my website today( and wrote this blog so still have bits of tiger between my teeth. I’m not satisfied, are you? Bon Appétit.

Eat him before he eats you.



Fighting God November 23, 2010

God and I had a fist fight. God won.  He and I had a disagreement about how my life should turn out and we came to blows.  I thought he’d be easy to handle and benevolent being God and all, but he tricked me.  Things were going beautifully and then he caught me with an uppercut and WHAM, lights out; I was down for the count.

What’s your problem, Lord? I’m ‘saved.’  I pray when I want something, when I’m in trouble, when I’m desperate and when I ‘m at the end of my rope.  Every night before I go to bed I whisper a few unintelligible words of praise before I slip off into sleep.  Isn’t that enough? Hell, I even go to church some days and sing like I’m Whitney before the drugs.   Yeah, I wear pants instead of the required sistergirlfriend knee-length skirt, but Allah, Jehovah, Jah —  when did the Prince of Peace become so nitpicky?  Anyway, I didn’t come here to fight. I’m here to negotiate.  Here are my terms. The last time we spoke we weren’t vibing and one of us got hurt.  It ain’t happening again.  I’m stronger now so if we fight you won’t win.  You better recognize. I suggest a truce.  Take out your note pad, this is what I want.

First, I want you to send me a husband, preferably rich, tall, dark and handsome.  I want you to give me all the money I will ever need, lottery numbers only and no nine to five’s.  Secondly, I want some lovely, well-mannered and incredibly smart little ones.  Lord, don’t send me no bad ass kids.  Make sure to keep me healthy and happy.  Lastly Lord, remember that when I die I want immediate entrance to the pearly gates. I’m a VIP and if you don’t think so you better ask somebody.

If you agree to my terms I’ll give you not one, but two, prayers on Sunday– one in the morning and one at night.  I will stop swearing, fighting, fornicating and wishing death to my enemies. Agreed? If no, an eclipse.  If yes, a flash of lightning.

Do you fight God?  Who wins?

Get Ready for a Rumble


Who’s Bad? November 17, 2010

It’s difficult, challenging and downright hard to be good.  Being bad is easy. It requires no effort at all. Waking up in the morning spitting fire and brimstone takes no extra synapses for the brain.  It’s a matter of giving into base impulses and letting it ride. Being evil, mean and nasty only requires letting loose the restraints of the tongue and temper and voila: people are wishing you a victim of a hit and run.  Ouch.  Evil is infectious and the more you hate the more it spreads.  The easier it is to relax your moral code, the easier it is for the universe to give you all that you’ve earned: possibly an anonymous push into an oncoming train.  Watch your back!

Instead of constantly standing sideways on the subway platform learn to smile, laugh and forgive.  The face has to manipulate no muscles to frown.  Happiness is not a birthright.  It’s the product of constant and persistent study, commitment to being better and faith.  It requires a continuous battle between the devil on your left shoulder and the angel on your right.  Can I get an Amen?  I’m preaching y’all.  The Super is meditating on this message because recently I’ve felt myself being lured to the dark side. I struggle to keep my halo on straight.  Some days it sports a dark ring and is cocked to the side–B-boy style.  This dark angel is regularly tempted to let the evil genie inside her have full reign. It’s a struggle to resist.  I do it by avoiding people who inspire me to give out bitch slaps. I want to improve but sometimes it’s hard.  Like the rest of the world, The Super is a work in progress and the many times I fall are only exceeded by the times I rise.  If MJ were here he’d ask me, ‘Who’s Bad?’ I’d answer, I’m bad.  But in a good way.

Are you bad?

Who's Bad?


Hot Pepper Hope August 15, 2010

Filed under: Personal Improvement — thesupersistah @ 4:21 pm
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Hope is like hot pepper sauce, a little goes a long way.  It flavors all your meals with a little kick.  It changes the texture and taste of everything and transforms it into something new.  An abundance of the sauce is like an explosion in your mouth that makes your eyes water, makes you take a dash for the nearest faucet and makes you dance around on one foot waiting for the sensation of heat to subside.  If hope is a seasoning then that’s what it would taste like.  Spicy.   When it comes to experiencing life—some like it hot!  I know because for some nothing is too flammable for their palate.  The moment the heat dies down their off again to grab the next piece of rib, chicken wing or lamb chop.  They keep coming back for more because the flavor reminds them that their alive.  It’s better to feel something, even explosive emotion, than to feel nothing at all.  Living life without hope is like cooking and eating the same meal everyday without the benefit of even the barest hint of flavor.  Repetitive meals of this type make a person lose their appetite; they get skinny and wane and the act of consuming food becomes a laborious chore.  People who live life without hope get anemic. Apathetic. Despondent. They lose the ability to taste and enjoy life. So for those on a vegan-life diet, choose to apply the hot pepper sauce to your life with a heavy hand.  Spice up everything you do with dashes of happiness, pinches of gladness, sprinkles of cheer and great big splashes of love and excitement.  Don’t be afraid that the fire will get too hot and burn out of control.  Hope is an ingredient that has no emotional threshold.  So for those of you who have forgotten to cook and live life with zest.  Don’t be afraid of the fire.  Burn baby, burn.   

Some Like it Hot!


Every Sistah is Super July 14, 2010

Filed under: General — thesupersistah @ 5:13 pm
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Maybe wearing a dominatrix mask or crime fighting disguise was not the best way to sell success to my audience or get my point across. My friends openly mocked me and told me my persona was absurd.  Why would a grown professional woman of color run around in a Halloween costume? The consensus was that I must be attention seeking, crazy or everything in between.  I was none of the above but it was my persona. It was me. It was how I felt about myself inside.  So despite what anyone else said, I went ahead and became who I was born to be –Super.  I attached the Sistah to the name because that was another important part of my identity. The Super  Sistah was born and my voice was heard.

Part of getting ahead is knowing who you are. No one can achieve any type of success without having a strong sense of identity. Lots of people let the world, their friends and their family define their identities. They’re only mommy, wife, sister, friend, co-worker, bum, felon, fat or failures.  Not me. I was Super Sistah and I wasn’t going to let anyone tell me who I should be. I gave myself a name and identified my super powers. I was a writer, educator and success coach. These powers were my gift to the world.  I used them to propel people to new heights by motivating them to reclaim their lives regardless of failures and adversity.  When you break bad habits or behaviors sometimes the process hurts.  I do it without flinching, coddling or telling people what they want to hear.  A flurry of soothing platitudes never helped anybody get to where they need to be.  The truth hurts.

If you have a dream, a desire, a destiny or a handicap, a hurdle or a problem, you must first surrender fear, destroy any defeatist mentality and claim your name and your identity.  This is the first step before anything can be achieved. 

I’m the Super Sistah and I believe that every sistah is super.  So what are your powers? Tell me your superhero name and identity?