the Super Sistah Blog

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Power of One January 31, 2011

Filed under: Personal Improvement,Success — thesupersistah @ 2:07 pm
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“There are two types of people who will tell you that you cannot make a difference in this world: Those who are afraid to try themselves, and those who are afraid that you will succeed” (Ray Goforth).  Don’t let the fears of others tell you how far you can go. If the tree branch looks slightly out of reach then that’s the branch you should reach for.  How big you dream, and what you can achieve, is totally dependent on you. A popular saying claims that there is strength in numbers. I don’t always agree. Sometimes your drive is diminished by a lack of support from those you love. You crave their approval but they don’t give it. You seek their help but they don’t offer it. You ask for their wisdom but it’s withheld. You feel alone. But there’s a silver lining. Evoke the power of one which is the belief that you can triumph over any obstacle life presents.  There will be times when the people around you will tell you that you’re less. Those people lack vision. They don’t see what you see. They have given up; letting life bury them under an avalanche of doubt, fear, and anxiety. Carry a shovel so you can dig yourself out. Sometimes being alone is better than being in a pack as supportive as a bunch of Desperate Housewives. Seek out people who will be there when you need them. These are the folks that believe in you and see the world as full of possibilities. Drop the dead weight of the past. You can’t maintain relationships based on nostalgia and blood ties alone.

Are you being supported in your goals?

The Power of One

 

Warrior War Cry January 25, 2011

I can see it now, Rocky running up the stairs with his hands thrown in the air.  The music is blaring in his ears making him take the steps two at a time. No one can stop him.  He’s invincible.  I can see it now, Lenox Lewis entering the stadium with his white silk hood covering the dreads of his hair.  In the background the DJ blasts, “I’m going to chase those crazy baldheads out of town.” The crowd goes wild. That’s his jam. The Rastafarian boxer uses the Bob Marley classic to strike fear into his close-cropped challengers.  He’s Sampson and his hair is his strength. His music makes him powerful.

Every woman needs a theme song. It’s the song that is going to motivate and energize us when life gets us down.  It’s the song that you put into your CD player and turn it up full blast.  It’s the song that speaks to who you are and inspires you to settle into your fighting stance when people come to do battle. It uplifts and it warns your enemies not to mess or they’ll have a fight on their hands.

The rapper Kool Moe Dee wrote a song just for me.  It’s the song that makes me sing out loud and launch into the running man no matter whose watching.  If I’m down it gives me life.  My choice is very fluorescent socks and acid wash jeans but I don’t care.  I didn’t choose my song.  It chose me. From the moment I heard the chorus, “how ya like me now?” I knew that it was my war cry. The song settled into my soul and took root.  It was the song that I was going to sing when all my dreams were realized. I would ask the haters, “how ya like me now?” If someone doubted my talent, told me I couldn’t do something and proclaimed that I would fail, the minute I proved them wrong, I would ask the question, “how ya like me now?” It’s the theme song for the underdog and it fits me perfectly. I don’t play it all the time. I don’t play it everyday. I play it when life gets tough; when I’m on the verge of failing or giving up. I play it when I think I can’t go on. I play it in my head so much that the real song isn’t necessary.  I can succeed. I can win. My song says I can.  Cultivate a theme song and if you don’t have one borrow mine temporarily.  Win at everything.  When you have defeated all your detractors ask them with only the barest hint of sarcasm, “how ya like me now?”


 

Black Girl Screaming January 7, 2011

I’m reading a book called the Purple Cow. It’s a marketing book for developing businesses, brands and standout products. The premise behind the book is that if you want to be remembered you have to do remarkable things, be extraordinary and do what it takes to separate yourself from the herd and the crowd. To attract attention you have to stand out. Being ordinary, mediocre and a basic brown cow won’t do.  Halfway through the book and I’m already contemplating suicide. It asks me to do all the things I hate: namely speaking to strangers, abandoning fear and letting go of my insecurities and inhibitions.  I think the author might be on the pipe or some mood altering substance.  Already my hands shake, my mouth gets dry and I feel real shivers down my spine when I have to approach the unknown woman and tell her about my blog. Now I have to come out of my shell even more? I feel the beginnings of a heart attack? I feel light-headed with the mere idea of being the mouth piece behind my brand. Couldn’t I just pay the dude that sings on the train a sandwich and some Skittles to spread the word for me?  My greatest desire is to write quietly and be anonymous.  That’s why my Super Sistah mask suits me. I can see you but you can’t see me. The problem with my plan is that if I’m quiet, shy and laid back both my name and I will become extinct. A year, an hour or a minute from now no one will remember me. I will live a life of quiet disappointment and soundless misery. It’s not gonna work. If I want to blow the roof off the house that traps my dreams I have to be brash. So let’s get loud everyone. Split eardrums like the best Bose sound system. Rattle the walls like a Rock concert at full blast. Shout so that God can hear your dreams from the clouds.

In your life are you dying quietly or are you screaming?

Are you screaming?

 

the Super Sistah Video Blog December 17, 2010

Not all women are super heroes but all are meant to be. Be Super. Watch yourself Soar!

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Eat a Tiger with Little Chews December 13, 2010

How do you eat a Tiger? With little chews. If you have ever been overwhelmed by trying to pursue your dreams then you know how daunting trying to succeed can be. Recently I had a chat with my sister.  She’s trying to be Super but is struggling.  I instantly gave her some encouragement. What kind of success coach would I be if I didn’t help my family? Usually when any of us start something new we are overwhelmed by the vastness of our ambitions and the energy required to scale mountains, slay dragons and banish thoughts of doubt and insecurity. We want to succeed but we think failure is a real option.  Soon our doubts become our reality and we give in and give up. No can do.  It’s important to understand that every day is an opportunity to succeed.  No one wakes up and is miraculously sitting in the penthouse with a Bentley parked outside sipping cocktails with P.Diddy.  How you grasp your dreams is by one action, step and move at a time.  Every stamp licked, every bill paid, every resume sent and every class taken is a step in the right direction. Those who try to do everything at once usually find themselves frustrated and defeated.

Think of success as a dripping faucet.  Every drop of water is merging with previous drops.  The water line is rising until it reaches uncontrollable levels and overflows.  Once the water escapes the confines of the sink it has broken through and can no longer be contained. Every day is an opportunity to burst the pipe and get the things you want and need. The sun should never set on your day without having tackled some problem, made some progress or done something (anything) that is taking you steadily in the direction you want to go.  A tiger is a big animal with many parts but even the most insignificant of us can have him for a meal if we eat him diligently.

“BURPPPPPPPP………!” Excuse me everyone, how rude. Forgive me, I launched my website today(www.thesupersistah.com) and wrote this blog so still have bits of tiger between my teeth. I’m not satisfied, are you? Bon Appétit.

Eat him before he eats you.

 

 

The Most Super Sistah October 12, 2010

People are losing jobs, homes are being foreclosed upon and the state of the economy and America’s financial future is at risk.  Things are looking bad for a good portion of the population but as the gospel artist Donnie McClurkin sings, We All Fall Down, But We Get Up.  So instead of worrying about things I can’t change, I’m making plans–big plans for the future.  These plans center around a Google search I did recently.  I typed my name into the engine and what I found invigorated me, inspired me and quite frankly lit a fire under my ass.  When I looked myself up on the internet I found nothing. Nada.  Zip.  As far as Google was concerned I was a non-entity.  Now I know this shouldn’t affect me nor have any impact on my self-worth but it still left an impression.  Right then and there I decided something important:  I wasn’t going to be anonymous.  Like Zorro’s signature Z, I planned to carve my name into the side of the planet and let the S blaze.  I would make an impact and endeavor to be more Super than even the most accomplished Sistah.  The plan centered on being the most successful me.

The Man of Steel who? When people thought of the word Super it would be my name called and then Superman after me.  Some are already calling me delusional but they only think so because they have yet to see me put thought into action. I’m conceiving my ambitions first before I make them into reality.  We all have to have goals right?  As I write yet another blog for a slow-growing fan base, I’m a regular human being with only super-powered ambition. But the seeds of power grow first in the mind before they can bloom in the heart and spread out across the land.  Today I’m dreaming.  I’m dreaming that the next time I Google my name, my name will dominate the first three pages exclusively.  I’m dreaming that when I examine my heart it is filled with the pride of my accomplishments and a peace that comes from knowing that I have lived up to my greatest potential.

I can’t find my name in the search engine today.  But the day is just beginning.  I don’t know about you but my ambition is to see myself on Mount Olympus with the rest of the Gods and Oprah Winfrey.  I’ll race you to the top of the mountain.  Do you think that you can beat me?

 

Work Hard for the Money September 9, 2010

I prayed for a job. Went down on bended knee and asked God to rescue me from unemployment. After months of hitting the pavement and watching my bank account dwindle to nothing, my prayers were answered.  The negative balance in the bank account turned towards the positive. All was well in the world or was it? Why is it that when we get what we ask for we want something else? As I sat in my cubicle contemplating the universe instead of doing the piles of work on my desk, I asked myself what I really wanted. I thought I wanted money. (I do, there is never enough of it.)  I thought I wanted professional accolades. (I do, one can never be too successful.) I thought I wanted the corner office. (I do, one can hardly write blogs in full view of everyone.)  I asked myself what I really wanted and the answer came to me.  It didn’t come to me as much as it settled over me. The answer in fact had never changed.  I wanted freedom. Not the kind of freedom that everyone hopes for which is the one where you tell your boss to kiss your ass and gallop off into the sunset on a horse that you can’t ride properly. No, what I wanted was to get paid to do what I did best: writing.  I knew this because in my spare time I looked up writing conferences and searched out deals on writing magazine subscriptions. I wrote stories on things that interested me all while claiming I wanted to be a business professional.

When I visualized my life I pictured myself with my laptop in my hand flitting from place to place soaking up inspiration and sunrays.  I didn’t see myself in the too tight business suit with the spiked heels.  I didn’t see myself with the two car garage with an apron strapped around my back. I didn’t see myself directing the meeting in a boardroom full of people. What I sought was the satisfaction that comes with doing what I was ordained to do. The sense of peace that comes when you feel like you have purpose.  Ninety-five percent of the population doesn’t do what they love. I don’t want to be in that category. Most of the time people are trapped by their feelings of helplessness and their fear of the risk involved in trying to live out their dreams. Usually the dreams require sacrifice and most of us have grown unaccustomed to living on more than wishes and Ramen noodle. The pursuit of happiness usually comes at a cost and for many the cost is too high.

How do you identify whether you are doing what you love or what pays the bills? Just ask yourself a series of simple questions: what do you dream about doing when no one is looking?  What sites do you frequent on your spare time? What would you do if you didn’t have other responsibilities?  If the answer is other than what you’re doing currently then you’re in the wrong profession.  In the masterful quote from my boy Brad Pitt as the movie character, Benjamin Button, he says that it’s never too late to be who you want to be. I remember this and keep the quote close to me when I find myself settling into the ninety-five percent who like the song from Donna Summers, only works hard for the money.

It's never too late!