The Super is not a girly girl. I’m more butch than Barbie. I’m the type of girl whose looks are deceiving. I look like I invest a lot of time in maintaining the pretty. But it’s a lie. Like all women I like to keep myself up but I find my beauty regime time-consuming and tedious. The problem is that I love the fellas and men like bees are attracted to honey. So I make myself up in the morning (not on the train though I find that annoying.) I wax, not because I think a little forest ever hurt anybody, but because a strip is more civilized. I wear Victoria Secret undies but near laundry week the pair might be ripped and unraveling. I keep my hair tight. Michelle O has nothing on me. But I skip the expensive stylist for the bargain basement blow out for $19.99. I like to look good—on a budget. Watching me trot down the street though might deceive you. I look casually expensive. Less Gucci and more J.Crew but my clothes are out of season and off the rack. For me clearance signs evoke ecstasy. I look like beauty is important but I’m a fraud. The truth is that I will go weeks without a manicure until my hands look like broken and chipped claws. I only know that a pedicure is in order because my toe nails cut through my sheets. My manicurist mutters curse words in Chinese every time she sees me. I get my eyebrows done regularly because even I know a unibrow isn’t sexy. Having said all that, I recently became a slave to the pretty.
I decided that my lashes weren’t long enough. I wanted them long and sultry. Big mistake. I couldn’t see. My eyelids felt like they were being held down by bricks and I my eyes were so red I thought my cornea had dropped out. After a full day of walking around with lashes like bat wings, I gave in. There was no point in being pretty if I couldn’t see. A total waste of money which has led to a beauty backslash. In protest, this week I’m wearing my granny panties, my hair in a bun and I’m letting my legs get hairy. Even the most ardent beauty enthusiast needs a reprieve.
Have you suffered for beauty?